Allow me to ask a bold question. Are we more in love with the idea of Jesus, the power of Jesus, or the doctrines of Jesus than we are in love with Jesus Himself?

I’ve written on this topic in these past articles here and here but I’ve been been personally convicted again lately by the way I would answer this question, because I have had a wrong understanding about what a “relationship with Jesus” is for so long.

Unfortunately we’ve made a relationship with Jesus to be something completely different than what it should be. Men are sincere but misdirected in their pursuit of intimacy and relationship with God. Intimacy with Jesus has been characterized by a nebulous, intangible warm fuzzy feeling on our hearts during a prayer meeting or worship gathering. If someone has memorized the Bible and can speak eloquently, or they have lots of “intimacy language” we often say that they “know Jesus”. With this false idea of intimacy, Jesus is not a real human to us in the same way that the people close to us like our family, friends, and coworkers are. As this wrong mindset progresses in a downward spiral, the incarnation becomes only a doctrine that we adhere to, and Jesus becomes nothing more than a fairytale-like figure that sits on a cloud in the heights of the heavens.

Now we would all agree that the substance of intimacy with someone is relational knowledge. We grow close to another man or woman through things like conversation, sharing in life’s experiences, and personal interaction. We get to know their story. Where did they grow up? What are their parents and siblings like? What are the details of their lives? What do they like and dislike? The more we get to know someone in this way, the more we truly love them.

Our relationship with Jesus must be rooted and grounded in these same things - actual knowledge of who He is and the life that He lived. I imagine a conversation between a bride and her friend, with the bride saying “I’ve found the one I love. I’m ruined.”, and in response to a question from the friend about the details of her bridegroom’s life she replies “well, you know, I’m not so sure… but I love him!” If she gave that answer to her friend, how ridiculous would that be and what would that show her about the depth of her love for her bridegroom?

If Christ is truly our life, our hope, our reward, our bridegroom, and our everything, then the most natural thing for us would be to devour every single detail of His life available to us. Our lack of passion for who He is, His life, and His story as seen in the four Gospels is just a symptom of a greater disease – the Christ-less expression of Christianity in the church today.

Jesus became a human so that we could get to know Him relationally. Four men inspired by the Holy Spirit wrote down the details of His life and His personality. Looking upon this One in the four gospels in context to a life of obedience will actually cause us to love Him. The way to growing in intimacy with God is not primarily through hearing more teachings on intimacy or by meditating on the Song of Solomon, as good as those things are. We must set our hearts to know Him in the story of His life. As we stare into the details and dialog with him about who He was, how He felt, what He did, and what moved Him, we will grow in true intimacy with Him and our hearts will ache for His return.